Eschatology/ the last couple of months

When I was in the sixth grade I was forced to start going to Lighthouse Christian Center by my dad who had just completed rehab requirements, it being about his trillionth time trying to get sober, you could say that I didn't have the respect I should have had for my father. I became even more discouraged when he started finding pleasure in taking control of scripture and manipulating it to say what he wanted it to. He was a Eschatology maniac. He still is; Big Brother, yup my dad is paranoid, but also my best friend today as well. When I was in sixth grade I honestly couldn't see my life getting any worse than it was; I was a vile, manipulative, evil, pathetic spirited girl who wanted nothing but to be given a perfect life. I can say that even today as I write this post I have not ridden all of my desires of control and trust issues but I am living my life on the path that God has set me. This week was a strange turning point to the last couple of months of my life. I am certain that "It is well with my soul." Whatever "it" is. I have been struggling with questioning my salvation and I have been believing I was burdened with the life I was given, demons attacked my thought process and I started believing that I wasn't needed by God and I wasn't an essential piece of His church or His bride. I needed to attach to something substantial and I needed to feel needed by something substantial but I didn't want to be the one to search it out or put effort into a relationship with someone. I needed someone who would invest in me and would actually care of how I am doing. I am a "people pleaser" I didn't find that person here on Campus. I found that person, spirit, soul, creator in the Bible; the one thing I have had in my life the last 8 years and I have never seriously thought about my relationship with God to be something I needed to maintain. When I came here to Ecola my life spiraled into a deep hole, and that was completely by my own stupidity. I am not doubtful of my relationship with God right now, and I believe that my only job in life is to worship Him in everything and by doing so acknowledge Him and give Him glory in all things (good and bad). Well, after going through all of that the last couple of months and coming to the conclusion that God wants me, and I am needed for His harvest, we are taking an Eschatology class this week. God is laying my father on my heart this week. I am studying revelation in hopes that I can go home and speak TRUTH to my dad. Pray that I can encourage him with a wisdom and understanding that is accurate in teaching. Pray that my family will see a changed heart in me and that I can mutually encourage them all in their faith (I am going home to a family that is both Christian, Catholic, and  Mormon). Also, please pray for my trust and reliance on God's timing and provision. I still need about 1,500 dollars for next term. I have full faith that money isn't an issue for God. I also have been seriously contemplating applying for a Missions Aviation course at a school next fall, so pray for that as well and that I could just feel a pull towards that career even more. Continue to pray for my dorm roomie Jessika Ilgen as well as she may not be back here next term do to money. Thank you so much for keeping tabs on me while I am at Bible School!

James 1: 12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test her will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."

Joy and Peace,
Krysta Hoskins

Thanksgiving Thankfulness!

I have not written a post in a while so I thought I would write a Thanksgiving entry. This last week God blessed me with some extra time to work here at the conference center. It was super difficult not being with my family on Thanksgiving this year. God has really been laying on my heart what the meaning of "family" is. I create families everywhere I go, but I have a family God provided to take care of me and raise me up, not always were things perfect, in fact they were probably the farthest thing from perfect, but I am called to love them and disciple them. I am realizing how much I love my family, and how much they truly do care for me. I haven't talked to my family since the day before Thanksgiving and I am really praying that everything is still joyful and peaceful among them. I think back to last year at this time and my family was in a really tough spot last winter. My grandfather had cancer and my grandma was struggling with breathing, my mom was in and out of jail and my dad was depressed. God's hand has been placed over mine and my brothers lives and I am eternally grateful. Anyways, back to my story about this weekend; I worked Thursday night waitressing for the Conference Center dinner. I ate turkey and taters but I got to be a servant to all those people who weren't at their homes for the holidays as well. I met a super cut old man named David who was eating alone. He had a great personality and ATE SO MUCH! He would ask questions about the food just to start a conversation, it was adorable. if anything he blessed me so much and just reminded me of my grandfather. After working that night I was tired and I felt lonely without my little brother and my mom and grandparents there to watch a movie or make food with. I have found some really great friends here at Ecola with me, even though some of them have fun teasing me and joking around I am blessed with the reminders of my little brother and my homegroup family. Taylor has been my go- to girl and she has a hard job I do believe keeping me calm and in relationship with God. She doesn't even know how much I rely on her friendship! I am so thankful for the path that God has been walking me through. Step by step I feel as though I am progressing in my spiritual maturity. Pray that I will continue to see my only job as following the Lord through every peak and valley He takes me through. Also, pray that I continue to have a servants heart as I get more anxious and overwhelmed in the coming season.
I am fully reliant on God and I have learned that everyone is going through a different season and within each season each tree has a time for providing a certain kind of fruit, right now my fruit is spiritual reliance on God.
"A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 

 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 

 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." Mathew 7: 18-20
Joy and Peace,
Kraysta Hoskins

REAL LIFE!!

This last week I took a missions class and a class on the book of Philippians. I learned so much from both of these teachers and they were both blessed beyond comprehension in their fields. I have been praying and meditating on my future and I have a desire to become a pilot. I want to fly medical supplies or food to isolated towns. craving to chase after God's will for my life is my desire right now, though. Prayers toward my future and just everything working up to my next big decision. Pray that I could learn that people were created by God and I should care deeply about who they are and where God is taking them in their lives as well. I am inspired by people who can listen without speaking; it would be an answer to prayer if I were able to actually understand and apply that concept to my life.
I also would love prayers for the relationships I am building here at school. pray that I could move pass my worry and fear of people judging me and move towards letting them know my testimony and sharing with them because I desire to give God glory through my life. I think it would be awesome if someone showed interest in my life and asked me how I REALLY am feeling and actually care about how I am doing here. There are few people here that I can trust enough to tell anything to about my personal life at this point. I almost feel like I am back in High School and I am struggling just to make friends with people. Working on my maturity in Christ is something that I am definitely trying to focus on as well but that requires that I apply the scripture I read to my life and I struggle with actually living out a faith that HATES the world. I love people don't get me wrong but I am recognizing how submerged I am in the worldly attributes of societal meaning. I want to be a Christian who people see by their actions and a Christian who turns her back from all worldly concepts to adopt a new perspective of how a life lived through Christ should look. In Philippians I read the verse 1:21 which says, "for me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." I want to be able to have the characteristics of God be personified through me. I want to go out and seek after the Kingdom of God knowing that what I am doing is for the WILL of the father, knowing that what I am doing is for a glorifying purpose. The night before last night I went to my friends house to watch "The Avengers"(great movie!) ,but Loki has a pretty good line when he says, "I am burdened with a glorious purpose." I want to feel burdened by this purpose. I want to feel like its my only way of life and that Jesus overcame the cross and so I must overcome the world like he did. Prayers for my spiritual growth and dedication to the Word would be much appreciated.
prayers for me to realize that the life I am living is real, and has real meaning and real value and that I shouldn't treat it or think of it as a game. This is REAL LIFE!

This week has been a productive week. I am really working on building my relationship with my mom. I am learning how to love her with a love that never ends but that doesn't mean I have to approve of who she is or what she does. God has placed in me in the perfect place. I am working on being more Christ-like. This week we are taking a Philippians class and we read "to live as Christ, but to die is gain." The notes in my Bible had a statement that said "if you're not ready to die, then you're not even ready to live." this is something i am really working towards.
I was also faced with a trial yesterday, as we had a day of prayer at school. I had my time with God from about 11 a.m until about 3 p.m and I was really struggling; I think I knew in my mind that everyone else in my class was going to come back from there long adventurous walks on the beach and on "God's thumb" and on the hikes they went out on with stories of how they saw God giving them visions and had prayers answered and how God did a miracle in their lives.
Of course, that didn't happen to me. A couple days ago I went out with my friend Angie Barkley to the ocean and we were planning on going skim boarding. I kept hearing all of the guys say "the waves are perfect!" and what did I know? It was my first time skim boarding..ever in my life! So I fell on my butt multiple times. After I started getting frustrated and my competitive edge started coming out I decided I would try it once more. So I through the skim board out in front of me, gliding across the water, and I ran after it landed directly on the middle of the board. I'm sure you can see me crippling to my knees as I fall. My knees bent in a position so uncomfortable, and as the wave came up from behind me we all thought it was the funniest thing ever. The wave slowly washed me up onto the beach like a dead carcass with all of my limbs sprawled out. Well, I tried standing after the entertaining incident happened and I could barely do that. With help of my friend Chad I made it up to dry sand and decided to stretch out my knee. I am determining that my knee was hyper-extended. It is getting better though.
However, yesterday Satan definitely got to me. I wanted to go on a walk down the beach so I took a nice stroll at about 11 a.m yesterday morning and started my day of prayer by praying healing over my knee. As I continued my knee began to feel immensely better! So I thought a mile walk down to Haystack Rock could be beneficial to just assure myself that my knee was okay. I began to walk. what is a normal 15-20 minute walk for me only took me 25 minutes to accomplish and I found myself sitting at Haystack Rock on a burnt log in front of a huge hotel.
The sun was out which made for the 2nd sunny day in a row down here (today is the 3rd sunny day). I was really enjoying the beautiful sky and the light clouds that filled the atmosphere.
Then just as the clouds changed to fog/mist it began to rain and I became frustrated because my knee was no longer feeling better, and on top of that my right hip began to hurt. I stood up to start my mile journey back to school:barefoot, irritated, not one with God at all, and completely soaking wet and sandy.
I thought about how I was suppose to be praying so I began to pray for God to just show me a sign that He was with me in the middle of the chaos surrounding me and shortly after I prayed an old Hispanic man came running up to me yelling "Pelican" "Pelican". Me confused thinking he was talking about the name of one of the hotels behind me said, "Oh, Uhhhh, I don't know the name of them." The man looked frustrated and mad that I wasn't understanding him. He was dressed in a scuba suit and had a nice Cannon camera wrapped to his suit. He pointed directly behind me and as I turned around I saw a huge beak and a bird waddling behind me.
It was a pelican and he was waddling directly 5 feet behind me. The man said he had been following me down the beach and took pictures of the bird. I was confused and tried scaring the bird away from me by yelling. The bird didn't leave though it just looked at me like I was crazy. I kept walking. I started to talk to God and ask Him what He was trying to tell me, if he was trying to tell me anything. As I hobbled down the beach I rand into 3 more pelicans standing right in front of me.  surrounded by pelicans I must have looked like a freak. with an old man following me with his scuba gear and a camera. He looked astonished.
I just wanted them to all leave me alone. Why were they all following me and causing a ruckus on the one day I am suppose to be having quiet time and a peaceful day?!
I was motivated none the less to continue praying I lift my hands to the heavens as I was walking praying for my friends who had text me prior and prayer requests I knew of.
Then, a lady ran up to me and said "Mamn! Is it okay if I let my dog run loose down the beach?" Of course, I said yes and as soon as she unhooked her dog from his leash this huge dog ran over to me waiting for me to embrace him. So I did.
When we started to debrief the day I heard a lot of my friends sharing their stories but didn't think of mine as significant at all. I thought God had just thrown a bunch of chaos at me and I was already stressed out.
I realized I was like Jonah, taking everything that was given to me as a burden and for granted. I should have just been embracing what God had given me and making the most of it. Showing God's love to the man and to my friends yesterday. I learned from a day of prayer with God that I need to be more observative of blessings in my life. I was walking down Cannon Beach with a bad knee and I should have been thankful that I was even on Cannon Beach at all; I worked ll year to get here and I was blessed by other people with support and I was taking it all for granted.

I was also having a really hard time trying to pray for myself. Can you just continue to pray that I learn how to show my emotions better. I have built up alot of walls and I dont want anyone to think that I am not a genuine Christian but I am noticing that my attitude towrds my own emotions is affecting my faith and my expression of Jesus Christ in my life.
Please continue to pray for me.

Krysta Hoskins.

Today I am writing this blog to inform everyone of my the events that have happened in the last couple of weeks. I have been making a ton of new friends, thank the Lord. I have been praying a lot for them and for their families as well, just pray for healing in hearts and pray for an understanding that we as Bible students do not NEED to know what we are doing next, our faith should be that of a follower of Christ, understanding that we have no control over our lives and God already has a plan; worrying isn't necessary. I have also been praying for my mom. She has a bunch of tests to still go through but she is worried that she could possibly have Colon Cancer, she is only 40 and God isn't finished with her yet, so I am just praying that God lays a healing hand over her and places negative results on all of her tests. My grandfather I currently live with right now, had colon cancer last year and is getting better with time but I am praying for winter time that he doesn't get pneumonia. My family and friends are all that I am given here on this Earth and My love for them should look like hate compared to the love I have for God. Please pray for my Relationship with the Lord and my Character as I am struggling with learning to love God through all of the really hard things. I know that my job as a believer in the one God is that I continually love Him through everything, because without Him it's even more difficult. So please be praying for me. I appreciate each individual that has invested in my life the past 7 years and has helped me grow into the person I am today. Thank you all so much.

Krysta Joline Hoskins.