This week has been a productive week. I am really working on building my relationship with my mom. I am learning how to love her with a love that never ends but that doesn't mean I have to approve of who she is or what she does. God has placed in me in the perfect place. I am working on being more Christ-like. This week we are taking a Philippians class and we read "to live as Christ, but to die is gain." The notes in my Bible had a statement that said "if you're not ready to die, then you're not even ready to live." this is something i am really working towards.
I was also faced with a trial yesterday, as we had a day of prayer at school. I had my time with God from about 11 a.m until about 3 p.m and I was really struggling; I think I knew in my mind that everyone else in my class was going to come back from there long adventurous walks on the beach and on "God's thumb" and on the hikes they went out on with stories of how they saw God giving them visions and had prayers answered and how God did a miracle in their lives.
Of course, that didn't happen to me. A couple days ago I went out with my friend Angie Barkley to the ocean and we were planning on going skim boarding. I kept hearing all of the guys say "the waves are perfect!" and what did I know? It was my first time skim boarding..ever in my life! So I fell on my butt multiple times. After I started getting frustrated and my competitive edge started coming out I decided I would try it once more. So I through the skim board out in front of me, gliding across the water, and I ran after it landed directly on the middle of the board. I'm sure you can see me crippling to my knees as I fall. My knees bent in a position so uncomfortable, and as the wave came up from behind me we all thought it was the funniest thing ever. The wave slowly washed me up onto the beach like a dead carcass with all of my limbs sprawled out. Well, I tried standing after the entertaining incident happened and I could barely do that. With help of my friend Chad I made it up to dry sand and decided to stretch out my knee. I am determining that my knee was hyper-extended. It is getting better though.
However, yesterday Satan definitely got to me. I wanted to go on a walk down the beach so I took a nice stroll at about 11 a.m yesterday morning and started my day of prayer by praying healing over my knee. As I continued my knee began to feel immensely better! So I thought a mile walk down to Haystack Rock could be beneficial to just assure myself that my knee was okay. I began to walk. what is a normal 15-20 minute walk for me only took me 25 minutes to accomplish and I found myself sitting at Haystack Rock on a burnt log in front of a huge hotel.
The sun was out which made for the 2nd sunny day in a row down here (today is the 3rd sunny day). I was really enjoying the beautiful sky and the light clouds that filled the atmosphere.
Then just as the clouds changed to fog/mist it began to rain and I became frustrated because my knee was no longer feeling better, and on top of that my right hip began to hurt. I stood up to start my mile journey back to school:barefoot, irritated, not one with God at all, and completely soaking wet and sandy.
I thought about how I was suppose to be praying so I began to pray for God to just show me a sign that He was with me in the middle of the chaos surrounding me and shortly after I prayed an old Hispanic man came running up to me yelling "Pelican" "Pelican". Me confused thinking he was talking about the name of one of the hotels behind me said, "Oh, Uhhhh, I don't know the name of them." The man looked frustrated and mad that I wasn't understanding him. He was dressed in a scuba suit and had a nice Cannon camera wrapped to his suit. He pointed directly behind me and as I turned around I saw a huge beak and a bird waddling behind me.
It was a pelican and he was waddling directly 5 feet behind me. The man said he had been following me down the beach and took pictures of the bird. I was confused and tried scaring the bird away from me by yelling. The bird didn't leave though it just looked at me like I was crazy. I kept walking. I started to talk to God and ask Him what He was trying to tell me, if he was trying to tell me anything. As I hobbled down the beach I rand into 3 more pelicans standing right in front of me.  surrounded by pelicans I must have looked like a freak. with an old man following me with his scuba gear and a camera. He looked astonished.
I just wanted them to all leave me alone. Why were they all following me and causing a ruckus on the one day I am suppose to be having quiet time and a peaceful day?!
I was motivated none the less to continue praying I lift my hands to the heavens as I was walking praying for my friends who had text me prior and prayer requests I knew of.
Then, a lady ran up to me and said "Mamn! Is it okay if I let my dog run loose down the beach?" Of course, I said yes and as soon as she unhooked her dog from his leash this huge dog ran over to me waiting for me to embrace him. So I did.
When we started to debrief the day I heard a lot of my friends sharing their stories but didn't think of mine as significant at all. I thought God had just thrown a bunch of chaos at me and I was already stressed out.
I realized I was like Jonah, taking everything that was given to me as a burden and for granted. I should have just been embracing what God had given me and making the most of it. Showing God's love to the man and to my friends yesterday. I learned from a day of prayer with God that I need to be more observative of blessings in my life. I was walking down Cannon Beach with a bad knee and I should have been thankful that I was even on Cannon Beach at all; I worked ll year to get here and I was blessed by other people with support and I was taking it all for granted.

I was also having a really hard time trying to pray for myself. Can you just continue to pray that I learn how to show my emotions better. I have built up alot of walls and I dont want anyone to think that I am not a genuine Christian but I am noticing that my attitude towrds my own emotions is affecting my faith and my expression of Jesus Christ in my life.
Please continue to pray for me.

Krysta Hoskins.