When I was in the sixth grade I was forced to start going to Lighthouse Christian Center by my dad who had just completed rehab requirements, it being about his trillionth time trying to get sober, you could say that I didn't have the respect I should have had for my father. I became even more discouraged when he started finding pleasure in taking control of scripture and manipulating it to say what he wanted it to. He was a Eschatology maniac. He still is; Big Brother, yup my dad is paranoid, but also my best friend today as well. When I was in sixth grade I honestly couldn't see my life getting any worse than it was; I was a vile, manipulative, evil, pathetic spirited girl who wanted nothing but to be given a perfect life. I can say that even today as I write this post I have not ridden all of my desires of control and trust issues but I am living my life on the path that God has set me. This week was a strange turning point to the last couple of months of my life. I am certain that "It is well with my soul." Whatever "it" is. I have been struggling with questioning my salvation and I have been believing I was burdened with the life I was given, demons attacked my thought process and I started believing that I wasn't needed by God and I wasn't an essential piece of His church or His bride. I needed to attach to something substantial and I needed to feel needed by something substantial but I didn't want to be the one to search it out or put effort into a relationship with someone. I needed someone who would invest in me and would actually care of how I am doing. I am a "people pleaser" I didn't find that person here on Campus. I found that person, spirit, soul, creator in the Bible; the one thing I have had in my life the last 8 years and I have never seriously thought about my relationship with God to be something I needed to maintain. When I came here to Ecola my life spiraled into a deep hole, and that was completely by my own stupidity. I am not doubtful of my relationship with God right now, and I believe that my only job in life is to worship Him in everything and by doing so acknowledge Him and give Him glory in all things (good and bad). Well, after going through all of that the last couple of months and coming to the conclusion that God wants me, and I am needed for His harvest, we are taking an Eschatology class this week. God is laying my father on my heart this week. I am studying revelation in hopes that I can go home and speak TRUTH to my dad. Pray that I can encourage him with a wisdom and understanding that is accurate in teaching. Pray that my family will see a changed heart in me and that I can mutually encourage them all in their faith (I am going home to a family that is both Christian, Catholic, and Mormon). Also, please pray for my trust and reliance on God's timing and provision. I still need about 1,500 dollars for next term. I have full faith that money isn't an issue for God. I also have been seriously contemplating applying for a Missions Aviation course at a school next fall, so pray for that as well and that I could just feel a pull towards that career even more. Continue to pray for my dorm roomie Jessika Ilgen as well as she may not be back here next term do to money. Thank you so much for keeping tabs on me while I am at Bible School!
James 1: 12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test her will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."
Joy and Peace,
Krysta Hoskins
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